This is a good time to set clear expectations.
“Matching expectations is probably the goal of what you are trying to do [in a parent meeting],” Martel said. “Having parents understand what the communication process is going to be. What the expectations on behavior are going to be. Are there expectations the local association has beyond just the coach.”
One example Martel gives is the way he expects coaches, players and parents alike, to treat the referees.
“Myself as a coach, I want get to a point where I’m never going to yell at the referee for a bad call. I expect our parents to do the same,” he said. “Bad calls are going to happen, so the kids don’t need me wound up because that will detract from their play. And they don’t need you wound up. So, it’s an example of expectations of how we’re going to behave together.”
Team rules, ice time expectations and boundaries can also be established. From what time you want kids to arrive at the rink before games to parent-coach communication. Some coaches implement a 24-hour rule after games to receive communication from parents.
Depending on the age of the player, Martel encourages players to try and resolve any issues first before parent involvement.
“If you have a concern or your child has a concern, why don’t you ask your child to see if they can broach it. We’re trying to develop our children beyond the ice rink. If your child is unhappy, have them come talk to me,” Martel said. “Let’s see if we can help them develop their communication skills. And I encourage the parents to sit in on any communication you have with the kid because they’re minors.”
Many hockey associations have a code of conduct for coaches and parents.
And then there’s logistics. How often will the team practice and play games? If you are on a team that will travel, how many tournaments do you plan on going to?
“Travel for tournaments is an added expense that maybe some families might not want,” Martel said. “Those are decisions that aren’t just made by the coach, those are decided by the families. So scheduling things need to be accounted for.”
